"100 days of Celibacy is Killing Me," He said ..."But Only When I Think About It."
You can succeed in cultivating 100 days of celibacy not by forceful physical restraint, but by not dwelling in lust or sexual desire when they arise.
That's how you do it because it's gonna arise and hit you whether you like it or not.
Since the Tao is formless, remaining in harmony with the Tao is to give sexual feelings no mind and to liberate them through mental formlessness. All desires are equally liberated this way, and in being resolved through emptiness, they totally disappear. When sexual desires do happen to arise, then you simply cultivate emptiness so as to let them pass away, and then they will transform spontaneously because transient thoughts, emotions or sensations just cannot stay.
In all of reality no experiential realm can stay, and so neither can sexual desire. No experiential realm can stay because everything is always being transformed at each and every moment. Being transformed, it changes into something else, and so the original state cannot last.
That's why both good fortune and bad fortune never last, and why you don't have to push away your thoughts in spiritual cultivation for they will leave you quite naturally.
All you have to do when engaged in spiritual cultivation is bide your time peacefully in the state of awareness without letting sexual desire grab onto you, knowing full well that sexual desires will pass if you don't cling to or mentally abide in that state. This is how you should always conduct your spiritual practice.
This topic is something you must definitely consider when you view aged monks and nuns (of any religious school) with "dried up" or "sunken" faces who through sheer willpower may have restrained themselves from any sort of sexual activities, including masturbation.
They may not have lost their jing because of this forceful restraint, but they certainly have not achieved even the rudiments of true spiritual progress. They haven't achieved any part of the spiritual stage of jing transforming into chi because they failed to cultivate mental emptiness and mental unmindfulness of (detachment from) the physical nature during their practice.
As a result of this failure these practitioners, even though they are "living the holy life," can never give birth to the stage of inner light, or warming, which is naturally to be expected on the spiritual path. Only when you let your chi circulate freely, without attachments or restriction, can it experience this sort of spiritual transformation.
What these monks and nuns did was use pressure, strictness and force of will to suppress or deny sexual urges instead of letting the vital forces within have free range to circulate and become transformed. That's why they never achieved any samadhi in their spiritual practice, for they failed to follow the genuine principles of spiritual practice.
So the key to achieving 100 days of celibacy is not to think about it. Simple but hard, hard but simple. There's no answer except for this.
Does accomplishing 100 days of celibacy mean you've transformed your jing to chi? No way! It just means 100 days of celibacy and that's it. Only when you cultivate some degree of emptiness and 100 days can you make major progress on the spiritual path.
There are definite merits to restraint -- you're probably more energetic and healthier because of it, but don't think you're a spiritual marvel just because you don't have sex or play with yourself for 100 days. It means nothing in the grand scheme of things and the things we suppress or restrain ourselves from are the things we clammer after in a following incarnation when born into a different culture or situation where those restraints are removed. So you have to liberate the mental problem into emptiness.
Tough medicine but true story ... Sorry, but this website is all about the true facts of spiritual cultivation and this is one of them. Only the Tao school and Esoteric Buddhism even talk about the topic of using sex on the path whereas Christianity, Judaism, Islam and the other religions all avoid the issue.
Hard topic to discuss, but hope that helps.
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