A Little About Sexual Tantra …


I’m getting tired about all the crazy ideas I read about tantra, and the left door Tao school practices, and the crazy porn you see on the Internet and on TV and the fact that people think this is "making love" or the correct way to have sex. So a few words on sexual tantra. There are tantric cultivation methods without sex, which are called "Tantra" as well, but I wish to speak specifically about sexual tantra, or sexual cultivation.

It’s not that easy to practice sexual cultivation. Tantric sexual cultivation is only used to cultivate the body and its chi and channels, and NOT ANYTHING ELSE. It’s only used to help transform the body (flesh), namely the chi channels, by stimulating internal energy without losing it. That produces a better chi flow circulation, because more channels open, and because of that you are more prepared for realizing the Tao. Rarely can you practice sexual cultivation by itself, without intensive mediation efforts and other practices, and thereby see the true mind.

In the past 100 years, including what is now propagated as teachings from Tibet, when people mention "Tantra" (sexual cultivation) it’s all virtually nonsense. It's jut sexual yoga - having sex in different positions -- and sexual technique. When you talk about sexual tantra, there’s a BIG PRINCIPLE involved, and therein lies the real sexual tantra or sexual cultivation.

One of the schools of Esoteric Buddhism in Tibet says that you can use tantra or sexual cultivation to change your chi channel, which is correct, and this thereby helps you transform your body and makes the attainment of enlightenment possibly easier if you have the merits and do everything else right as wells. As a monk, you use it in three very special situations.

Normally, in the past the girl partner was less than 16 years old and had very special characteristics with special merits. Even without the youth requirement, rarely can you ever meet the right person as a practice partner in today’s world and it was hard to do so even back then. People just don’t have the requisite merits to be a partner, male or female. Even a Buddha would have a hard time finding a partner so as my teacher said, it’s virtually impossible. You need the right merits and the girl needs to have the requisite merits, too. Sure you can find someone to practice with, but unless your chi channels are purified or hers are purified, neither is really qualified but just working toward that goal. Because it’s so hard to find someone, past cultivation efforts in many lives is necessary for someone to succeed in this route.

Now the "Kung Shr Mu" or Empty Wisdom (Behavior) Mother is the Chinese name for a goddess who transforms to help someone with sexual cultivation, which is the highest tantra we’re speaking of. Most people think she is a fairy or goddess (dakini). They are basically enlightened females who have wisdom and see the true mind and have enough mercy to want to assist with this technique because it is a quick way to help a man transform his unopened chi channels. They already are enlightened … so it’s hard to find one. This is an actually living accomplished female master, like Yeshe Tsogyel. You can read her story in the book SKY DANCER and the fact that she took on two male partners to help her transform her chi and channels.

Now there are three stages for when you might use Tantra in the Esoteric Schools of Tibet. Just forget about Taoism, Hindu/yoga schools, or Persian schools and current American/European thinkings on this matter, because this information is missing in these tradtitions since it references particular cultivation stages of the path. The two situations most easy to understand are that:

1. Some people will use Tantra to help them transform the body so that they can see the Tao - a monk has tried everything else cultivating for years, and just can't make the breakthrough so they finally try this

2. Some people say to use it AFTER seeing the Tao to help go further and transform the physical body.

In the Yellow sect/school of Tibet, which is the school of the Dalai, Panchen Lama and Tsong Khapa, they don’t teach sexual cultivation or tantra. They use it only at one period to get to the final stage, to attain enlightenment. Previous to that, they just follow the strict rules of celibacy in life. If not - meaning if they hare having sex all the time -- they are just cheating themselves and others and are not really following the rules of discipline of their tradition.

In ancient times, however, the great enlightened monks of Tibet after attainment might practice with the nuns. Upon enlightenment, matters change in that you must transform your body, and so sexual cultivation can be a great assist, or you then understand how to do it so you can help others. They could practice with the nuns because the rules of discipline for nuns never made it to Tibet, so the nuns could then do this without breaking any rules.  Tsong Khapa changed the rules when he came along. He said you can only practice tantra (sexual cultivation) in the bardo stage after death — in your bardo body -- because he saw there were lapses of discipline everywhere creating so much trouble in society as well as in the sangha, and so he established the strict road of discipline again, like Shakyamuni, to clean things up. All schools collect dust or barnacles after wahile, and Tibetan Buddhism was no stranger to this rule when Tsong Khapa found the tradition.

Therefore, even for Taoism, Vajrayana, etc. etc. the people all talk about tantra or sexual cultivation like it’s a casual or ordinary thing that happens all the time, but it’s a very serious issue because it can cause all sorts of problems with human relationships, a degrading of discipline in the ranks of monks and nuns, and of course there are problems like pregnancy, too.

Taoism, like the Esoteric School, also tells people how to find the right girl/woman as a practice partner. They say you must calculate her fortune, even those of her parents. The qualifications are extremely strict, so it’s difficult, almost impossible to find a qualified female partner in Taoism, too. If I listed these qualifications then people would be calculating all this stuff and giving girls all sorts of troubles. If you know anything of the selection process for choosing concubines for the Chinese Emperor, or choosing a queen (outside of political considerations), you can understand that the girl was inspected on many levels.

Basically, the girl’s fortune must be as good as that of the Queen Mother of the Country - her fortune must be good enough that she could be a Queen. You can read the story of Lady Yeshe Tsogye to see that this qualification is in there, too. And the man has to treat her like a mother and take care of her once he achieves the Tao. Not just this life but for many lives until she succeeds because she helped him succeed, so it's very serious. This is a lot more serious than the idea that a married couple will die and then live together in heaven forever as a couple, which is nonsense.

If a cultivation woman finds a "dharma Father," which is an enlightened adept who helps her succeed, then she should treat him and take care of him as a father as well. Whether male or female,  woman or man, you have to want enlightenment very badly to be able to do this practice. You have to support the other person and offer them the BEST of everything, so it’s not like normal sexual intercourse. Most men won’t do that, cannot do that, don’t want to do that. They want no commitment, just sex and "goodbye" - not even a "thank you" for the medicine provided.

In the Tao school, two people often agree to practice tantra or sexual cultivation together. But in Taoism it’s not called "tantra" but is called "practicing the sword" or "making the sword." This is a term that only takes into account the man’s side of the practice. They say "making a sword" because it’s like sticking the hot iron in water when you are forging it into a sword. You are taking the man’s hot penis when it’s aroused and then sticking it into the woman’s vagina. That’s the origin of the name.

The funny thing is, the penis does NOT always have to be hard to be good for the woman. The best penis condition in sexual cultivation is warm, full of chi and SOFT for the woman — she can tell it’s not a hard blood filled penis, rubbery jing filled penis, but a warm-soft-comfortable chi filled penis and thus is soft and comfortable for her even though it’s not rock hard solid like a sword. Even the modern Tao school practitioners today don’t know this principle. We’re not talking impotence, we’re talking about chi channels and chi flow being open all the way through the penis. The women who like the rock hard penis are those who have NOT opened up their chi channels, and thus that’s what they need because for them it’s massage and not cultivation.

In the Esoteric School, they also take the issue of selecting a female partner very seriously. In this school, you need to find a woman who has lots of merits — a super nice temperament, very very kind character, good family, good education, excellent looks and figure, no blemishes, and so forth. They all have to be top, Top, TOP — the very best. One of the physical characteristics you need to look for is a red mark or depression, as though the chakra has opened up, in the region of the third eye (Ohm), throat chakra position (Ah), or between the breasts (Hung) for the heart chakra. There are other signs as well, but this is one of  the most important physical characteristics because it shows that NATURALLY her chi channels are already opened somewhat from past life cultivation, or she has opened them in this life from her cultivation efforts. This is why a girl like this (or man) is so rare to find … even a Buddha coming to this world would have troubles finding such a partner.

Therefore, because it’s almost impossible to find a human companion practice partner with the right qualifications like this, the best way for a man to practice is to pray for help from an enlightened Buddha Mother, an Empty Wisdom Mother. The man who wants to succeed has to himself be quite successful in his chi channel cultivation. That’s why I always tell you to practice the skeleton visualization method and breathing practices and mantra practice or use Tsong Khapa’s visualization instructions for opening up the central channel. Without the prerequisites it’s useless to expect any progress in cultivation gong-fu. If you don’t know /practice the prerequisites then what’s the use of discussing further? It’s a waste of my valuable time. If a man’s own chi channels aren’t already open then he’s just lying to any partner he’s trying to work with. He just wants to fuck  girls only.

In the Red School of Tibetan Buddhism, when the two partners find each other, they’ll stay together in a room for several days without leaving it. Sometimes it will happen in a tent they set up on a plain. The other monks will protect them by surrounding the room and reading sutras and reciting mantras all around it with their backs turned to it and eyes facing outwards. You cannot have any jealousy come up one bit during this practice for any of the participants. Then they will practice sexual tantra for 3 or 7 days and nights in this room. The monks will burn sandalwood to make the smell as pretty as possible…everything is made to help things be as comfortable as possible for the Buddha Mother. If the practice is very successful, you may even see a rainbow appear around the room or area. I won’t go into specific details about all the preparations. The monks must be pure, the area clean … I’ve even seen a room in a Tibetan Temple used for a form of this practice that no one even knows had this purpose. Every day people visit this temple from all over the world and no one knows  that room was used just for tantra.  It’s all very serious. It has nothing to do with sexual license, pornography, lust or anything like that. That’s all a breach of discipline with extremely serious consequences. VERY serious consequences.

As to the karmamudras, or imaginary dakinis used for sexual cultivation in the mind, it's said there are the Desire Realm, Form Realm and Formless Realm dakinis. There are all sorts of inventions like this in the Tibet school. It will say things such as that the Desire Realm dakinis take effort to convert but the Form Realm dakinis are incredibly difficult to subdue. These were all things made up at the stage of chi channel openings to help lead practitioners forward. During the higher stages of channel openings before seeing the Tao, it's common to have visions and hear voices. In some schools these visions and voices are of God, or of angels, or past saints because that's all the practitoners know about, so that's the only familiar thing that can be used to lead them. Soemtimes the visions provided are of fictious creatins such as men with the heads of bulls or lions, and so on. These are all expedient means.

In Tibetan Buddhism, because sexual energy is used to raise the chi energy, and because there are teachings on these matters, one can more safely be provided with imaginary visions of dakinis in sexual embrace to stimulate rising yang chi at appropriate moments in time during the purification process. If you fall into sexual deviances because of this, you become lost and drop, which is why most people cannot do this sort of practice. It's just an expedient method introduced to qualified practitioners, by the enlightened devas of the Desire Realm heavens who are helping them, to help spark a practitioner's yang chi, help it arise to flood the channels so that they are easier to open than in stale meditation. Obviously all sorts of imaginary teachings have developed along this basic line.

You can’t find any Tibetan books on this. Basically, if you practice meditation your channels open. One way to open them quickly is sexual cultivation with a partner wherein you don't lose energy, and that energy can then slowly work towards openign the chi channels. Holding your breath can help your internal en ergy arise and pry open chi channels as well, so while different, you can understand some analogies between these practices.

If you open up the central channel and eight extra meridians of Taoism, during that time you'll have all sorts of visionary experiences. If you have the past life connections with this type of cultivation practice, or if you have an enlightened master who knows of this method and he/she oversees this process, you might have visions of sexual encounters with imaginary dakinis. If not, such as if you were living several hundred years ago in the Christian or Moslem or Jewish tradition, you'd have to be exposed to different visionary experiences to lead you forward. Since sexual energies are basically yang energies that can help open up your channels, they can become the basis of a type of cultivaton practice prior to this stage and later, even leading to the first dhyana, which is basically enlightenment if you drop the idea of a self. But they cannot take you past that level of attainment. They can only be used to help you tranform the body, and do not bring enlightenment in themselves. If the practitoner doesn't know the dharma then this pathway is useless because they would never know about the teachings of no self, emptiness and the fact that they have to let go. They would just fall into sexual fantasies, lose their jing, and get nowehre. Even if a pracittioner does know all this, they can still go astray which is why only enligthned individuals know who can or cannot follow this road. Even if a practitioner is skilled and knows all this, they still might not have the merit of a partner. So it's very difficult to dicsuss this or practice this route. Nevertheless, it is a valid route for the few who are qualified.

As to ordinary practitioners, the feeling that men and women try to achieve during tantric sex is higher than sexual orgasm because you are trying to let go of attaching to the body whle the internal energy surges, and that mental non-crimling can allow the chi to flow everywhere and open up your chichannels. Chi energy can even help ascend and clear the back channel, called the du-mai. During sexual cultivation practice the blissful feeling in the body is not called orgasm because the joy and bliss doesn't involve any leakage (ejaculation) by the man because the chi is travelling through the channels.

Even if the man ejaculates, if his chi channels (chi mai) are still very good. After he pulls out his penis from the woman’s vagina to rest, he feels like he is light and the joy and bliss is there. Sometimes it’s as if the body drops away - he can stand there and see the body and feel it but it’s as if his mind is as large as the sky. But that’s not all – IF  the man tries to practice tantra without caring about the chi channels of the other partner and how she feels and her stage of progress,  then he is guilty of a breach of discipline. She’s the one helping him, and sacrificing to do so. I’m sure for her it’s not fun at all because she’s an enlightened Wisdom Mother, and her realm is a lot nicer than a yang shen body here.

Anyway, the target through this route is for the man to reach at least the first dhyana, but there are many stages to this which are possible - the beginning joy, middle joy and high joy stages of attainment. The various stages all refer to various pruificatory stages of the chi and channels. They require the generative force to climb up the du-mai channel, the sex chakra has to be oeprative and the other chakras and major channels to be open as well. I will say, however, that the symbol for the sex chakra is a shaking golden cicada (as Buddha mentions in the sutras), or a Chinese Fu dog (those pug-tailed puppies so  excited that they sit there and just shake with excitement trying to wag the tail that isn’t there), or the Old Testament Ark of the Covenant. You have to have already opened up the sex chakra and the heart chakra to be able to do this, but I won’t get into details. All sorts of symbols people talk of refer to stages of cultivation like this, it’s just that ordinary people don’t know it.

Taoists don’t even realize that the Yellow Emperor, in the  Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine, probably practiced tantra because he had all these concubines and wrote on the topic and at the end of his life, it’s said he ascended into heaven and took this retinue with him. Only someone who succeeded in tantra knows what this means — it refers to the transformed yin-yang chi flows within the body.  When Milarepa was cultivating and saw a thousand pulsating vaginas in the sky, and generated a thousand penises to satisfy them, people don’t realize this refers to the bright points at the tips of the crown chakra petals, and he used a tantric means to combine the yin and yang chi for these petals. All these things are secrets now revealed — they’re not secrets it just that you didn’t understand it before. You had the story, you had the symbols, but you didn’t understand because you never cultivated and reached that stage.

Most men think they’re practicing tantra or sexual cultivation practice but they’re just "making the sword" and fail all the time because they ejaculate. Even if you use your mind to suppress ejaculation it’s useless because you’ve leaked already. That’s why Taoism doesn’t call it tantra but "making the sword."

People always wonder if it’s okay for women to orgasm because they hear that men should not ejaculate. The I-Ching explains it: "yang will offer (give up), yin receives." Yang is brilliant, yin is reverent.  So yang gives off and yin receives. Even if a woman has 3-4 orgasms, it doesn’t hurt her as much as a single man’s ejaculation because her uterus/vagina will reabsorb the chi she loses. 60-70% of anything lost is re-absorbed, and liquid secretions stay mostly within her. For a man it’s different because when he ejaculates he cannot suck anything back through re-absorption. If he tries it’s a mistake.

Some men mistakenly try to suck a woman’s yin or hormonal secretions to supplement his yang (and women try to get yang to supplement her yin). Don’t do this, and women don’t let men try to do this to you. This is a sideways school, and not the proper way.  About 30-40% of women also get tired during intercourse. In that case they can have sex on their sides, then in a centered position, and then stop and rest. Most couples never practice different positions to learn how to avoid losing energy during sex.

In Taoism they also have the term "100 days of celibacy", which started in the Ming dynasty in the Wu Liu school. This is a time period spoken of by Taoism, but not the Esoteric school. The real 100 days of laying the foundation doesn’t mean no ejaculation. It means you don’t move your mind — it means THAT YOU ARE IN SAMADHI FOR 100 DAYS. That’s the real 100 days. It doesn’t mean you hold your jing for 100 days. That’s the RESULT of this practice, and everyone gets that wrong. Of course, men and women can both hold their jing for 100 days for health and cultivation and that’s good for them. It has lots of benefits. You can even press the perineum to stop ejaculation and still have an orgasm, but if you do this you will eventually produce health problems. Women may eventually get uterine cancer that way, and men will usually develop prostate and kidney problems.

My Teacher always laughs at those people who try to suck back their jing. It’s already leaked out - it’s like hormones you’ve lost but cannot reabsorb through the bladder, or like hair or nails you’ve cut off, so what’s the point of any attempt at re-absorption? It’s like shit, piss, phlegm or pus once it's out of the body, out of its proper place. No matter what any sexual teacher tries to tell you, it’s useless. You’ve already lost the chi. If you want to absorb someone's hormones, get a hormone shot instead! 

The Plain Girl Sutra (where the Plain Girl talks with and instructs the Yellow Emperor) talks about how to use various sexual positions and postures to cure disease and illness. If you practice sex for a few hours without orgasm, it can definitely send chi along new chi channels to help cure illness. True. But how many people can do that? Different positions activate different chi channels, but no one understands this so no one is doing it. Even if you have the method, do you have the time to practice it? And is your partner qualified and capable to help you learn how to d this? Probably not.

Some girls, during sexual congress, will faint, or cry or laugh and at that time the man practicing tantra with her should not pull out the penis but still just stay inside her. If he has to ejaculate, sometime she can press in even deeper so that he loses even less than he would were he to withdraw. At other times he can try to curl his toes and look up making a special SSSSSSSSS hissing sound with the mouth open in a large closed smile, like the six Taoist healing sounds for the lungs and triple burner, to try to let the chi rise  rather than escape. There are all sorts of things for regular couples to practice at home to avoid ejaculation which I won’t go into.

One danger for some weak men is that they might activate an endless outpouring of jing that never seems to stop, which can actually kill them, so in the olden days the women would wear a needle in their hair and then take it out and punch the man’s buttocks with it — like acupuncture –to stop the leakage of jing to prevent him from fainting. They actually stabbed the man in the buttocks if this deadly scenario happened. We’re not talking about an erection for 4 hours like Viagra or Cialis, we’re talking about a constant steam of jing/semen being lost (dribbling out) that cannot stop and this is how to stop it. Some women have a similar situation where they may faint or even cannot stop crying, and the man can bite the lip underpart of her nose if that happens. For instance in martial arts if someone starts to faint you grab and twist the two areas right under the armpits, and this is a similar sort of application of this idea.

There are all sorts of acupuncture spots for special situations that might occur that a man needs to know if he is to practice with a sexual partner. If the man loses jing and can’t stop - now you know in the old days that the women kenw to stab a pin in his ass! If a women loses energy and cannot stop — push or bite to activate the acupuncture spot under the nose.

Actually, this is all just "double people yoga" information rather than tantra. There’s lots to learn about it. According to the real esoteric schools, there are 72 types of vaginas and 37 types of penises. For instance, a man’s penis might be mushroom shaped, short and stubby like a big boss’s nose - this type best fits a vagina that is shaped like a plate inside. It might be hooked, and   women with vaginas called "long straight bucket types" would prefer this the best. A penis curved sideways pleases the "twirling cavern shaped" vaginas. There are penises with long thin bodies and mushroom heads, or with bumps on the shaft - often a mark of natural kings. There is even a teaching said to be from Empress Wu Ze Tian, but it might not be from her. Whomever the true author, she describes 7 types of typical penis shapes and how they are good or not good for women. If you’re a woman then pay attention because no one, NO ONE, ever teaches anything about tantra for women. It’s all from the men’s side. If you want more information, see "25 Doors to Meditation" or "The Little Book of Hercules" where I explained things in more detail.

For instance, Shakyamuni taught that there can be five color tints to a man’s semen or jing — white, clear (good), yellow (young men), red (for kings or queens) or purple (heavy red). They are hard to discern and all have different meanings. When the jing is watery, the man is usally sick or getting old because for old men the jing becomes thin like saliva. Shakyamuni Buddha described many of these things in various sutras, but the majority of Buddha’s teachings have never been translated into English. Buddha knew and talked about everything, just like Master Nan. Shakyamuni talked about lots of tantric things but regular people don’t know it.

Now back to the penises for women … The first type of penis is soft, never hard, and thus is impotent and useless to a woman. The second is cold (in temperature) even when ready to work, and always ejaculates. The shape is okay and so you can still use this one despite the deficiences. A third type, which is the last of these three bottom grade types, is strong and hard when you touch it or put it inside the woman, and inside it immediately ejaculates. These three are the low grade ones according to the Empress.

A fourth one has a large diameter, and the feeling to the giris soft like cotton. It is good looking and you can feel warm chi inside it. The man needs lots of herbs to preserve his health and keep it in shape. The fifth has a tip like a knife (long, thin, pointing) which isn’t good. But this penis type has lots of yang chi and is always warm. If it isn’t circumscribed, lots of skin usually covers its tip. The more this type fucks, the stronger it gets never ejaculating. Women eventually get scared of this type of penis because it’s strong and can fuck, but isn’t good for them. It can do lots of work without ejaculation but isn’t good for the girl  in the long run. She may want to orgasm but the man with this type of penis still wants to continue having sex (he can’t stop) so the woman becomes uncomfortable with this sort of situation. This is actually most people’s type of penis.

The sixth type of penis is where you can feel the energy pulsing in it when it’s resting in your hand. It’s long, it’s warm and you can feel the heat there. It has a strong energy to it. Girls will feel that its every cell is full of chi, that every cell is alive because this man has cultivated a lot naturally , and his chi channels have all opened within it. A girl can go all night with this type of penis and not feel tired. It can match a woman’s feelings, and even after it ejaculates, it can work again. This is a 1 in 10,000 type of penis.

The seventh type is from men who practice martial arts, qi-gong, eat herbal medicines and thereby transform their penis. Originally it’s a cold penis, but after much practice and medicine, it now feels hot on the outside. This is a "false fire" type of penis. A regular person feels this type of penis is precious, but it’s very bad for the girl even if it doesn’t ejaculate or matches her needs. Why? Because she will get old quickly or die with constant use of this type of instrument because it will suck her chi away.

For women to evaluate a man’s penis without seeing it, all she need do it look at the nose, because the shape will often suggest the shape of the penis. The length of the second finger to the palm base is also related to the penis length, as well as the shape of the thumb suggests its shape. A woman should also check how a man’s clothes fit below. Lastly, if he has red spots on the nose and drinks alcohol a lot, then he’s probably useless and probably has a cold penis — the type of penis a woman won’t like for more than one time.

There, no one ever tells women these things and no one ever instructs them at all about sexual cultivation or Tao school methods - it’s always the selfish man’s side you read about - so now you know something if you are a woman cultivator. Don’t cheat anyone with your new found knowledge, and don’t think you mastered it or understand anything just because you read it. I won’t even  talk about grading women because men are big cheaters and all they want to do is "fuck" or have sex, so they aren’t qualified for any teachings, even this stuff. All they would do is use it to cheat people or grade people in their mind and then pursue them. In Asia I once learned of a group of men who would go to buy virgins in Thailand so that they could try to suck energy out from them in sexual relations, and all sorts of strange practices that people thought were sexual cultivation. The world is full of garbage like this, and evil tendencies proliferate if you talk about them.

People all want a reason that allows them to have sex, women too, and often use cultivation as their excuse for being able to indulge. Men have fewer inhibitions than women because they always want sex (yet still can be overly restrained or have inhibitions even when permitted via marriage, etc.), and women often tie themselves up in all sorts of knots to prevent themselves from letting go  during the act. Why? Because their minds are yin - full of restrictions - and they don't want to be hurt. A woman’s mind is yin, whereas her body is yang; a man’s mind is (dirty) yang, and his body is yin. So you can find women with bodies that are easily cultivated, but hard to find good male bodies as cultivation partners. And for the men, while their mind’s are yang (growing, pushing, do new things, expand), it’s usually dirty yang with greed and lust and desire for power, money, fame. You can find women with reverent yin mentalities and good virtuous characters that make them natural cultivators, so that their chi mai (channels) are naturally clean, but usually the yin factor makes them manipulative or tricky to deal with. The yin mentality has a harder time cultivating wisdom than the yang mentality. Children cannot cultivate prajna wisdom at all which is why they cannot awaken. Only an advanced practitioner like Krishna can achieve enlightenment as a child, as did the spiritual teacher of the Mongolian Khans.

The biggest thing missing in people’s knowledge base, for both men and women, is that there is also a "sweet spot" within the woman’s vagina — not the G-spot, but a chakra termination point that is important to sexual cultivation.  It’s very difficult to find it — if you have opened up the third eye you can see a little flame there or if you practice the skeleton visualization practice you can know where it is for every woman naturally.  It’s difficult for this sweet spot to come down during sex and be able to touch the penis so that the two chi channel sets are cooperating with each other and become  united. Usually it takes 30-40 minutes of foreplay, another one hour of tantra sex, and then finally it might start to come down so you can reach it. Yes, maybe 1 hour before you can touch it, though with subsequent sessions it comes down quicker and quicker. It’s so difficult to reach and activate that spot, otherwise you wouldn’t call this cultivation.

As my teacher said, "If it was so easy then all the prostitutes in the world would be enlightened already." In the old days the Mongolians and Tibetans that conquered China and had sex with the girls  were very cruel and would try to stuff their anuses with cotton rags in order to try to hopefully poke/push it down, but the only way for it to descend from the roof of the uterus/vagina is naturally, at which time the man’s penis can touch it.  It can come down, slowly, gently and with the right partner and technique, and each time you can reach this achievement quicker and quicker. A cultivated man can help a woman, and vica versa. If you don’t cultivate as a man, you’ll never be able to sense it or pull it down because the chi channels in your penis won’t be filled with yang chi to open; if you don’t cultivate as a woman, you’d never find it or be lucky enough to find a guy who can touch it for you either.

Most men have dirty chi from unopened chi channels, which is why the asura men are said to be ugly and their woman beautiful – it’s the chi of their minds that’s dirty, not their looks, because they cling and are not pure. Anyway, when the two cultivation sets of chi channels touch at this spot — the man’s cultivated chi channels all clean through his penis and the woman’s chi channels, it’s like touching a spot of electricity. If the woman is very young and healthy (and thus her channels are relatively clean even if she doesn’t cultivate), it’s easy for a man to bring the spot down, but if the man has dirty chi or his channels aren’t open, then forget it. As stated, for women it’s 3 or 5 within 100 that are qualified, for men it’s 1 within 10,000. Once again this is not the G-Spot….only cultivators can reach thisbecause it responds to chi, and when skilled women find it they’re so surprised they even had it because they know what different orgasms are like, they know what the G-Spot is like, and this feels like neither. Maybe 3-5 out of a hundred woman are qualified to even have the experience, but for men my teacher always says you have to search through 10,000 (maybe a bit less) to find one capable of this. That’s why it’s impossible to find partners for tantra.

There are all sorts of tantric teachings that are only passed down by mouth. Frankly, you’re lucky to  be reading this because no one gives out this information, but I’m so sick of the crap I see that people champion as sexual practice that it’s time to correct matters a bit. When the restrictions are now as loose as they are in society, now you must reveal a more ELEVATED possibility for sexual relations. This is how men become men and women become women — when they cultivate  their chi and chi channels in HARMONY this way.

I always laugh at the books I see on this topic, because the 10-12 pages I wrote in "25 Doors to Meditation" and the many pages in "The Little Book of Hercules" reveal more than ALL the published books and videotapes on tantric sexual cultivation, and I’ve just taught you a little more right now, yet people don’t believe this is the true stuff. It is, but just the BABY stuff….and yet you cannot even find THIS material anywhere. So I laugh at all the professional marketers trying to make money off of this and cheating themselves and others. Yes you can make money off of sex, but you cannot spiritualize lust or elevate it.

This is true chi mai cultivation we’re describing, so it’s already elevated, it’s already at a different, higher level than ordinary sex and the unity, bliss, joy you attain is higher, much greater than ordinary sex, and the committment required is much stronger, too. You’ve got to cultivate, practice lots of charity and giving, collect merits that way, open the chi channels and chakras and practice pure living to do it. You want to be a Mafia king or Rapper or Rocker or Bilionaire and succeed at this — forget it. The morality and virtue and merit required are much, much, much higher than for ordinary people if you want to achieve anything this way. Frankly, if you don’t cultivate and do lots of good deeds, it’s impossible. You can’t just have sex in all sorts of new and strange or unusual ways, with one or many partners, and call it sexual cultivation. Baloney. Go get some hormone shots to "replenish your yin" if you think that way.

It all starts with discipline, emptiness meditation, the skeleton method, and lots of merit making. The best you can tell people in the ordinary world is to learn to have sex without ejaculation  but without holding, to avoid colds/drafts and cold drinks during sexual activities, to rest in the emptiness/bliss of it without clinging, for the woman to throw away inhibitions and restrictions and open herself to the man, for the man to take care of her and bring her to comfort instead of being selfish with his own pleasure, to try to match the chi with harmony, and treat each other with care and respect, and so forth.

Foreplay is important for arousal, but sexual tantra or lovemaking is not like the active sexual acrobatics or sexual yoga or "sport fucking" you see in porn movies or TV. That will never amount to anything in temrs of chi channel cultivation and chi harmony. If both partners peform well from sexual cultivation, afterwards they are not tired but energized and actually look great, look better than before. So you can even use it as a type of medicine when the weather is bad or your own chi seems stuck.

If you practice with a condom, that’s an insulator of chi which is useless for th epractice, too. It will even irritate a woman after prolonged usage. You never hear that, do you? Sure it prevents disease and babies and satisfies all the politically correct who want birth control and no STD, but for tantra? You don’t even know cultivation basics 1-2-3 if you think that’s right. It's terrible how bad the ignorance is. That’s just for sexual yoga or massage or fucking, not tantric sexual cultivation. Once again "no condom" means having the right partner in the FIRST PLACE where you don’t have to worry about all those things, not about using a condom. 

If there’s no CHI COMMUNICATION between the parties because of insulation like that, then any man will do for a woman and any girl will do for a man because it just becomes massage, and in that case you can kiss society and families and social stability goodbye. Society slowly degrades when you promote such methods because of what REALLY happens along routes unintended. 

But enough. I’ve given you enough to understand this topic better than one thousand books on the topic, as I always try to do with all the MeditationExpert stuff so you don’t get cheated or taken, because you can’t find one thousand books on the topic. You won’t even find one.

Good luck with 2008. Be Well. Cultivate. Practice merit making and virtue.

And by the way, don’t write me with questions on this because I don’t give teachings on this sort of topic. I tell you OVER AND OVER AGAIN, you have to know everything, learn everything about all sorts of topics, including sex, but you have to put in the effort yourself. That’s cultivation…go read Confessions of an Economic Hit Man to understand how the world really works, as an example.

Cultivation is exactly like this — you have to know about the human physical body, sex, human relationships, medicine, psychology, weather, meditation, literature, science, and so on and so  on. Don’t stick your head in the sand and try to think understading more about sex )or any other topic) isn’t important, is evil, forbidden, doesn’t apply, doesn’t matter, doesn’t enrich life, you don’t need to know it because it isn’t in the Bible, etc. etc. Cultivate wisdom. Read LOTS of sutras. Study and cultivate, mix the two together.

You are laymen and laywomen, not monks and nuns, so you should learn this sort of thing for the enrichment of your life. If there wasn't such a thing as sex there wouldn't be such a thing as marriage, so you should learn about this and the highest potential possible for sexual relationships. Culture is made up of information like this that’s very helpful and helps people arrange their lives meaningfully and comfortably. So elevate yourself and your  relationships, don’t pollute society with all sorts of strange crypto- or crazy permissive notions that anything goes and anything is possible and won’t hurt us, that parade around as what’s "natural" or "good" (Masturbation is good for men? Ridiculous!) just because they are common or normally done. 

What I’m discussing is all high culture. What you see on TV and in magazines as the embodiment of sex is low culture. Men typically think, "I want sex with a hot looking girl," but most of the models, actresses or singers you see aren’t qualified for this sort of practice. Go meet a skinny model or balerina. Their bodies are usually in terrible shape, though everyone thinks they’d be a good catch. Their chi channels are awful, so they aren't good sexual partners for sexual cultivation. You have to be healthy and your channels have to be opened, which means you have to have cultivated some stage of emptiness or inner silence already. Th eold rule is:

younger is better than old,
simpler is better than complicated/complex,
healthy is better than sickly,
virtuous is better than non-virtuous,
a cultivator is better than a non-cultivator.

This is why the "Plain Girl" sutra is named just that, because that’s where you’re most likely to find the girls with the best chi channels because of their outstanding  personalities, temperament and virtuous characters. Self-cultivation, education, culture — whatever you want to call it – all has an effect on the chi channels.   So if you think some Victoria Secret’s model is the cat’s meow, just let her open her mouth to talk and you’ll find all the qualities of virtue, cultivation, education, culture and so forth are usually missing. That’s why they rarely let the model’s talk - when they open their mouths the dream is broken because reality appears. No smooth chi, no cultivated chi of any type, just an outside interesting shape. No culture, no virtue, no attempt at self-cultivation for self-improvement.

It doesn’t matter where anyone stands in life, but you have to look down at those who do not practice introspection or self-improvement in any way, because that’s what’s important. Having a mdoeling, singing, or entertainment career is not self-improvement. The appearance fades away in time, just as does the health, so self-cultivation is what you want to find in a woman. If a woman cultivates her character, virtue, modesty, honesty, chi channels, good works, that’s actually what’s to  treasure.

We’re attracted to the outside because we think it’s a reflection of the inside, but that’s not necessarily so — it’s like biting into a shiny apple hat you find is rotten and mushy inside. When the character and virtue and merit are great, it’s also because the person’s chi and channels are in great shape, which is what you want. That’s why you can’t find a tantric partner — the outside may look good, the qualifications might seem to be there, but the inside character, virtue, morality, merits and gong-fu is lacking. I can think of several rich, pretty, educated socialites that appear on TV all the time who fail in qualifications because they don’t cultivate themselves. Even worldly character improvement is all about CULTIVATION.

And women who think that muscle-bound men or handsome men are the best find can at best find  sex machines, but no chi channels open and no posssibility of chi communication (and sometime no chi because it’s all been diverted into muscles) - just sexual massage. Of course some women need that because they themselves are hard and not soft from too much athletics or from lack of cultivation. Or if it’s a great looking model type appearance they want, they’ll find the same thing as men find with women — it may be attractive for sexual excitement, but there is usually no content inside and you usually find zero chi communication in the bedroom skills.  Once a woman actually finds out what "chi communication" means in the bedroom, then everything else they’ve ever experienced sexually is usually thrown out the window because it typically was just an exciting massage, and nothing more. Or if she wants to pursue money then once again she’ll be  missing the cultivation element that might keep her happy in the bedroom.  Woman always have a harder time than men because a man can still find a handful of women out of a hundred with good clean chi channels — women trained to be soft, feminine, receptive without trained to be alpha-men. Men can still finaly a handfull out of a hundred women with naturally calm minds and good chi channels, yet it’s getting harder in countries like the US where the sex roles are all messed up. As to males,  most men are dirty - their minds are greedy or selfish, their chi channels are dirty and not open - including the bodies of celibate monks because they still cling - and they pursue all sorts of unhealthy things. Only someone who succeeds in cultivation has open chi channels that can help the other person. But if two want to try to help each other together, that’s their own business.

If you find the right partner and have sex correctly by harmonizing the chi, you’ll feel relaxed, soft, wonderful for and entire day or even on through the next day, and that’s what you want to strive for — it’s good for health, for cultivation, for appearance, for anti-aging, for changing the character and temperament. Yes, it can even use it to help tame your character and temperament because you feel soft and warm the whole day (and thus can let go) because the chi flow has been ignited/initiated. But it takes practice — that’s why it’s called cultivationpractice. This isn’t tantra, but cultivation practice. To speak of tantra, you must have already opened up your chi channels and chakras, seen the Tao, know the Buddhist cultivation teachings on wisdom, and have lots of virtue and merit. I won’t go into it. As my teacher says, everyone wants to hear, but who can understand?

Society is all mixed up about these things, especially training women to be like men. Yes, equal opportunities are correct but don’t train yourself to lose your feminity. If you travel to Asia, South America or Europe, all these countries know whatthe meaning is when they hear that American women have lost their feminity. American women themselves hate to hear that because they’re just a product of their own culture and don’t even see it, or feel there is nothign they can do about it, so they usually don’t comprehend that they’re just destroying themsevles and their chances for happiness (not to mention health, looks and peace of mind) when they decide to become a career alpha-male lookalike. If a woman, for instance, wants to be a famous singer, actress and so forth … and wants a good marriage too ... then she’s just  fooling herself, stacking the odds against herself. If you  train to be an alpha-male yourself, and then want an alpha male to want to marry you, what do you think will happen? An alpha-male wants someone to listen to him, not the other way around. Will an alpha-male listen to if you want to be the alpha-male yourself? Do you think you’ll have a good lasting marriage ? That’s why female entertainers often marry their managers because they are the only ones they’ll listen to — the only ones that appear to be alpha-males to them.

But enough of this. I only wanted to tell you that what we now postulate as the best male or female partner are all mixed up. Training men to be feminine or the feminine to be masculine has not only proven to be a disaster (look at divorce rates, etc.) but one could know this from the start because the chi flows immediately become mixed up from this approach. Go read the sages and learn to understand yin yang chi harmony if you want to comprehend things on a higher level than the typical social planners do. The social planners only  understand how to destroy culture for materialistic goals or the further controllability of the populace by the state, and know nothing about how to arrange things so that everyone finds happiness in life, as well as peace, joy and contentment.

Look at it — are people happier now then  when things were slower, less developed and less frenetic but more stable? The government is stuck on materialistic measures and  economic productivity numbers that bring nothing along these lines but are just destroying people and culture. Only the older generation understands this; the kids don’t because this is what they grow up with, so year after year it’s getting worse and worse and worse and no one can stop it. Even a sage can do nothing now because it’s spinning out of control, and all the policies or opinions bandied about have no cultivation understanding in them which taps into the ROOT OF IT ALL. The sages are the only reliable guides, yet people ignore them. People cannot even comprehend what I’m speaking about when I talk about cultivation, and are more interested in their X-box and Wii or computer and new camera cell phone anyway. And past that level of understanding the "chi" of society and culture on a world or national scale, there is the level of shen harmony which I won’t even get into.

 We’ll leave it at that. Just a few words on Tantra.

… By the way, are you interested in hearing more? I recorded about 2 hours of information on a CD that you can get here:


Just pop it into your computer to play it. More information than all the other teachers out there on this topic, for sure.



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